TODAY'S PAPER
47° Good Evening
47° Good Evening

No bigger trucks

LIE
Ever grumble about the ludicrous massiveness of the box your little shipping order was packed in? Fed Ex etc.. are pushing for equally ludicrous 90-foot double-length semi-trucks for hauling the increased amount of all that packaging, plastic-encased air – and junk.

Travel size emissions

Airlines
We all fret about our overhead bin, and airlines worry about their overheads. Also a little higher above our heads are jets’ carbon dioxide output and contribution to climate change, which are a little more disconcerting. So it’s my duty to hit you over the head about it with a cartoon.

New LIRR courtesy posters

MTA
There were a few important items omitted from the MTA/LIRR courtesy campaign, so I stepped in to help.

Moment of silence

Flight
It’s become routine that prior to official, actual information about a plane crash, cable news rolls out the technical experts to enrapture us with hours of professional sounding speculation regarding likely causes.

Panhandling MTA

MTA
​The LIRR is considering adding cupholders in the new cars slated for delivery in 2017. That will be a superb (and welcome) distraction from the inexorable upward journey of your fare.

Sleeping at the switch

MTA Safety
I thought sleeping at the switch was just a colloquial phrase. Good thing there’s a new MTA safety czar.

Driving while disturbed

Driving
​If you’re reading this while driving your car: Deadly contagion, bloodthirsty Middle East terrorists, illegal immigrants, unsecured nuclear weapons and the other myriad of threats to the well-being of the general populace are literally the least of your problems right now.