TODAY'S PAPER
42° Good Evening
42° Good Evening

Bernie’s math

Bernie Like it or not, Hillary Clinton really does have the numbers on her side. The Bernie camp is ostensibly asking the DNC to go against its members’ popular vote and instead choose a candidate that polls better against Trump. Or in other language: They want to rig the primary in their candidate’s favor.

Little birdie

Bird Hillary’s biggest problem with potential supporters is the perception of her deep Wall Street ties. (A little birdie told me that…)

Socialist Bernie

Bernie Despite the U.S. being a giant human cooperative, most Americans-who-vote are still traumatized by the Cold War and socialists are the scary boogie men from that era. So Bernie should probably ditch the label and call himself an FDR Democrat, or something.

U.S.S. Hillary

Hillary
Hillary being the lone vessel for the Dem’s 2016 hopes and dreams was hazardous.