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Layering on the minimony: LI couples say ‘I do’ to additional wedding costs

Layering on the minimony

Long Island couples say ‘I do’ to additional wedding costs

Dropping tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding has become average for Long Island couples, studies find.

But in the COVID-19 era, many brides and grooms are tacking on an unexpected cost: the minimony.

For Michelle Rock, 30, and Jonathan Pavlica, 30, of Bellerose, that meant spending another $5,000 on a 3-hour wedding at Westbury Manor with only eight guests …



… on top of their previously budgeted $35,000 for a 90-person event at Chateau Briand, set for later this year.

WHAT IS A MINIMONY?



A small, socially distanced wedding commonly held in the months before bigger nuptial events at homes or catering halls. It often includes a ceremony and dinner reception.

TOTAL COST: $2,000 to $10,000+

Most weddings last year, held as minimonies, cost about $19,000, including the venue, dress, and other extras, according to a national survey by The Knot. It might seem like an affordable price drop, but for many local couples, it’s a precursor to the traditionally expensive 150-plus guest celebration their wallets are still on the hook for.

IN 2020:

  • 96%
    altered their wedding plans
  • 88%
    moved forward with their receptions / ceremonies on a smaller scale
  • 80%
    had to downsize their guest lists
  • 43%
    added a virtual component
  • 35%
    chose to move their wedding reception/ceremony outdoors

Think of the minimony as another event the couple now hosts. It’s a scaled-down version of a larger event that often features many of the same elements, including notable moments like cutting the cake and the couple’s first dance.

Of the couples who moved forward with their wedding ceremony in 2020, 42% hosted a minimony and still plan on holding a larger reception, according to the survey which polled more than 7,600 couples.

Couples dreaming up their nuptials are now seeking estimates from vendors not typically a part of the pre-COVID planning process: tent rentals, backyard caterers, portable dance floors, alcohol, space heaters and more. The exact cost of a minimony varies based on how many guests are in attendance and how much DIY the couple takes on.

And while larger weddings are beginning their slow return, the intimate minimony trend may be here to stay.

“I don’t think it’s going anywhere anytime soon,” says wedding planner Michael Russo, of Cold Spring Harbor. “I could foresee it being around still in 2022. People are going to get a little used to this type of celebration that’s more intimate and smaller and enjoyable.”

Russo says a minimony can be accomplished for around $5,000, depending on how lavish the couple’s desires and number of guests.

“Micro” wedding packages at Lessing’s Group venues range in price, for example, from $2,500 for just a ceremony at Bourne Mansion in Oakdale to $8,500 for a four-hour reception for 50 guests at the Heritage Club at Bethpage.

Katerina, 25, and Jack Graham, 28, of Merrick, spent $2,000 on a backyard wedding for 30 guests between the tent ($1,200), alcohol ($300) and food ($350) …and that eventually got canceled and moved to a restaurant where the bill totaled an additional $3,000. They’re still planning a wedding next year.

Kat Yetter, 25, and her husband Ryan, 25, held what they’re calling their “bonus wedding” on July 24 and managed to only spend an additional $1,500. She purchased a second wedding dress online for $100, cut the guest list down to 10 and celebrated in her grandparents’ backyard in Massapequa, no tent rental required.



“It was super simple,” Kat says. “I really tried to keep costs down as much as possible knowing we would have a bigger celebration this year.”

For other couples, the minimony is a welcomed alternative to the larger wedding.

Melissa Butler, 32, and her fiance Richard Cumberland, 48, of Middle Island, are hoping to plan a minimony as their only ceremony for under $5,000 this October.

“A wedding does not have to be 100-plus guests,” she says. “A wedding is what you make it.”

Source: 2019 and 2020 wedding studies from The Knot

Writer and producer: Meghan Giannotta

Digital development: James Stewart, Matthew Cassella, and Mark Levitas

Social media editor: Gabriella Vukelić

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Long Island Trivia

Feed Me Takeout Awards

Takeout has never looked–or tasted–this good. When coronavirus shuttered Long Island dining rooms in the spring of 2020, restaurants had to revamp their entire approach to food to-go. No soggy burger buns or rubbery pasta here–instead, menus changed, cocktails suddenly became mobile and inventive packaging became paramount to delivering the best at-home dining experiences. Newsday’s FeedMe hereby acknowledges the Long Island eateries that made extra effort with The Takeout Awards.

Best Burger Deal

Snaps American Bistro
Rockville Centre and Wantagh

As takeout began to account for more and more of Snaps’ business, chef-owner Scott Bradley reworked his weekly Thursday $5 burger special into a daily affair that includes four half-pound burgers for $25.99.

Cheddar-topped patties are packed in one container, the toasted sesame-seed buns and toppings in another. Takeout-friendly Parmesan-truffle fries ($6) are more challenging—they’re packed with holes poked in the box.

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Most Adventurous

New Fu Run
Great Neck

Not a thing goes to waste when you order the Peking duck special ($68) at New Fu Run. It takes chef Shao three days of preparation and he is determined to elevate every morsel.

The breast meat, sliced neatly and covered with burnished skin, is accompanied (separately) by paper-thin pancakes, scallions, cucumber and sauce so you can make your own wraps at home.

The dark meat is hacked into smaller bone-in pieces and stir-fried with cumin and chili for a second meal. The remaining carcass is turned into two quarts of duck-cabbage soup. Order at least two days in advance.

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Best Attention to Cocktail Details

Hermanas
Lindenhurst

Margarita pouches and to-go cup daiquiris are one thing, but wouldn’t you like to bring home something a little more, you know, classy from time to time?

Consider, for instance, its Negroni Lila ($14), a purple-hued concoction borne of gin, vermouth and Luxardo Bitter, or perhaps its Lavender Bee’s Knees ($13), a Prohibition-era pleasure perfect for our prohibitory times.

In the wrong hands, it might be little more than a watery disappointment by the time it reaches your door. The restaurant loads one compartment of a cardboard cup holder with a split of cava, a second with a vessel of honey, lemon, gin and lavender bitters, and a third with the cocktail glass itself, inside of which is a single mammoth ice cube showered with dried lavender blossoms. Combine the three and presto chango—you’ll feel like a home bootlegger, but minus the bathtub gin.

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Best (Not) Dressed Ramen

Rakkii Ramen
Smithtown

Ramen purveyors figured out long ago that keeping the broth separate from everything else is paramount when it comes to successful takeout. Reheat the broth at home, then you can add everything else.

Here, takeout ramen is delivered in the most adorable modular way. The various components (noodles, chashu, narutomaki, scallions, egg and a sheet of nori) come in a top container nearly fitted above the broth, which is pack-aged in its own tub.

Lift that top container away, and it takes but a few flicks of the wrist to slide this colorful composition into the fragrant, liquid depths of tonkotsu ($14) or miso broth ($15).

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Good For Family Fun

Fogo de Chão Brazilian Steakhouse
Carle Place

You’ll love the home game version of the dining room spectacle that occurs at Fogo de Chao in Carle Place. The “Full Churrasco Home Experience” ($110) feeds six and comes with five kinds of ready-to-cook meats.

Grill and slice those, meanwhile setting out the side dishes—asparagus, mashed potatoes, strips of sweet-peppery bacon and Brazil’s legendary cheese bread, pão de queijo.

Fogo’s servers are dressed like gauchos (the cowboys of South America) and at the restaurant move from table to table, plying customers with platters of skewered meats. Join in the fun at home by drawing straws to see which family member will serve all the others as the evening’s gaucho, and then pass out the included coasters to the other diners. Play continues until everyone’s coasters are red or someone splits their pants.

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Prettiest Halal

The Halal Girls
Huntington

What patrons expect from a steaming-hot bowl of halal chicken over rice is tender spiced meat, perfectly cooked golden rice and a drizzle of white sauce (usually, yogurt and mayo) to deliver the velvety richness we crave. What they don’t necessarily expect is for it to be pretty.

However, The Halal Girls in Huntington pushes the boundaries in their version ($7), with evenly slivered thigh meat, buoyant romaine lettuce and an artful drizzle of both white and hot sauces.

Even the falafel wrap ($6) flirts with beauty—its plump fried-chickpea orbs are stained bright green from pulverized fresh herbs, and the pita wrap itself bursts open to one side into a riot of lettuce and diced tomatoes.

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Most Rewarding DIY Meal

Ssambap Korean BBQ
Stony Brook

Korean barbecue is one of the most engaging restaurant experiences you can have: Once the server has turned on the tabletop grill and delivered the raw meat and accoutrements, you’re on your own. Ssambap in Stony Brook rejiggered its barbecue menu for maximum involvement by takeout customers.

Choose from nine meats (such as short ribs, ribeye, pork belly, $28 to $40) and it will be accompanied by fresh lettuce leaves and bean paste for wrapping.

You’ll also receive rice (white or multigrain with beans) and, as is customary with Korean meals, a slew of individual banchan (side dishes) including kimchi cabbage, tofu skin, pickled daikon, pickled cucumber and pickled onion. Want more to do? You can even request your meat raw and grill it yourself at home.

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Written by: Corin Hirsch, Erica Marcus and Scott Vogel

Producer: Alison Bernicker

Editor: Shawna VanNess and Jane Lear

Photo editor: Hillary Raskin

Logo Design: Lori Julich

Digital development: James Stewart and Matthew Cassella

QA: Sumeet Kaur

Gratitude Game

Gratitude Game

How to play:

Place the phone in the center of the table. Youngest goes first. You draw it, you discuss it.

Let’s play!

A father’s anguish at the Fire Island Lighthouse

A father’s anguish at the Fire Island Lighthouse

The following is compiled from Long Island legend, as reported in Newsday’s archives. Some elements of this story can’t be verified. Read and judge for yourself…

Ever climbed the 182 steps to the top of the Fire Island Lighthouse?

Did you hear moaning? Unexplained footsteps?

If so, you might have encountered the ghost of Nathaniel Smith.

In the mid-1800s, Smith is the lighthouse keeper as it is undergoing a major construction project. He lives nearby with his wife and daughter.

Winter hits and Smith’s daughter falls ill from the Long Island cold.

There’s no bridge to Fire Island at the time, and the lighthouse is still under construction. So it takes doctors three days to reach the island.

By then, it is too late. Smith’s daughter dies.

Some say the pain drove Smith and his wife apart and that he died years later, alone and heartbroken, at his quarters near the lighthouse.

Legend has it that the unexplained sound of footsteps are Smith racing to the top of the lighthouse as one more attempt at getting help for his daughter.

And the moans heard at the top of the lighthouse could be yells for the doctors to hurry – or the pain of a father who has just lost his daughter.

There have even been some reports of people seeing a man at the very top of the lighthouse – holding vigil, even 150 years later, that help would arrive for his little girl.

But that help would not arrive in time.

So the next time you’re on Fire Island, take a moment to think about Smith, whose contributions made the lighthouse the marvel it is today – but who also paid a great personal price for his efforts.

Writer and producer: Seth Mates

Editor: Meghan Giannotta

Digital development: James Stewart and Matthew Cassella

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Haunted long island katie’s bar smithtown

The tortured tale of Charlie Klein

The following is compiled from Long Island legend, as reported in Newsday’s archives. Some elements of this story can’t be verified. Read and judge for yourself…

Katie’s Bar in Smithtown has long been a place to hang. And if you start seeing things, you should know – it might just not be that you’ve had a few too many.

In the 1920s, a bartender named Charlie Klein works at the Smithtown Hotel, just across the railroad tracks from where Katie’s stands today.

Charlie’s life hits a rough patch; his wife passes away, and he soon gets into legal trouble for serving alcohol during Prohibition.

Charlie takes his own life.

Not long after, patrons at Katie’s begin seeing a man in a 1920s-style topcoat and hat walking through the bar.

It’s believed to be the ghost of Charlie Klein.

And despite reports of flying wine glasses, unexplained footsteps and people getting sudden chills, there’s one crucial thing you should know about this apparition.

Not long after current owner Brian Karppinen bought Katie’s, he was trying to close an emergency door at the top of the stairs, when he says the handle suddenly broke.

He fell backwards. “But then I felt something push me on my back forward, to keep me from falling” down the steps.

He believes he was actually saved by Charlie … yes, despite his tortured past, Charlie is considered a “guardian angel” and friendly presence, says George Arns, who owns the house where Charlie killed himself.

Karppinen says there seems to be an array of ever-shifting spirits, and video posted on YouTube shows things such as an orb zipping around the bar and a soda gun floating on its own.

So the next time you’re at Katie’s in Smithtown, check out the basement bar, which is believed to be the most haunted area.

And if you see a man in a derby hat disappear into a wall. Well, now you know the back story!

Writer and producer: Seth Mates

Editor: Meghan Giannotta

Digital development: James Stewart and Matthew Cassella

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Haunted Long Island Raynham Hall

The heartbreaking tale of Sally Townsend

The following is compiled from Long Island legend, as reported in Newsday’s archives. Some elements of this story can’t be verified by officials at Raynham Hall. Read and judge for yourself …

Many ghost stories are about death. Some are about unfulfilled romance.

But Raynham Hall in Oyster Bay can lay claim to both – so say visitors who report seeing a young woman and a British soldier within its walls.

It’s the winter of 1778 — the height of the Revolutionary War — and 17-year-old Sally Townsend and her family are at home when a British commander, Lt. Col. John Simcoe, 27, arrives to the white saltbox house.

He tells the family he’s moving in and establishing a British base there; the Townsends have no choice but to comply.

Sally takes a liking to Simcoe. She bakes him doughnuts and he writes her what some historians believe is America’s first valentine. Their romance blooms in the coming months.

One day, Sally sees a mystery man sneaking into the house and leaving a note in a kitchen cupboard. Not long after, a friend of Simcoe’s — Maj. John Andre, who frequently visited the house — sneaks in and reads it.

He does not know Sally has seen him.

What he also doesn’t know was that before he had gotten there, Sally had snuck into the kitchen and read the note herself. Later in the day, she tells her brother – one of George Washington’s most trusted spies – what she has read and seen.

Maj. Andre is soon captured and executed. Simcoe, pictured here, feels betrayed and soon leaves Oyster Bay, never to return.

Sally never marries. She dies alone at Raynham Hall at the age of 82, a valentine from Simcoe still among her most prized possessions.

To this day, visitors say her second-floor bedroom is the coldest spot at the house. “It makes you feel anxious, as if it’s a weight on your chest,” said one.

Noises have been known to come from the room late at night, including screams of “no!”

Visitors have also felt a coldness in the Colonial Room, the room downstairs where Sally hid as she watched the men in the kitchen that day. And a gardener has reported seeing a vision of Sally in a black dress walking the grounds.

Other visions have been known to haunt the property as well, especially a hairy 20-something man in a dark coat with brass buttons on it. Sometimes he rides a white horse.

Visitors report doors swinging open, papers rattling, and the sounds of foot steps.

Many say it’s Maj. Andre (pictured), executed for what happened at that house. In recent years, one psychic walked into the bedroom Andre used and said, “Somebody’s dead in there.”

So what was on that note that Sally read?

The note allegedly revealed that Andre had been plotting with Benedict Arnold to bring about the surrender of West Point, in a development that could have changed the course of the entire Revolutionary War.

But a teenager making doughnuts at her home in Oyster Bay had foiled the plot and changed the course of American history – before dying alone and heartbroken for her troubles.

These days, Raynham Hall still operates as a museum and is more focused on their history than any alleged ghosts …

…but every year, they still hold a Ghost Parade to honor that part of their history. This year, amid the coronavirus, they instead have five 12-foot ghost puppets up and about.

Be afraid!

Writer and producer: Seth Mates

Editor: Meghan Giannotta

Digital development: James Stewart and Matthew Cassella

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Coffee Map

The Cup Coffeehouse

Chill on a couch with a frappe and a game of Uno or indulge in luxe desserts inside this café with living-room vibes. There’s also an outdoor patio.

3268 Railroad Ave., Wantagh

516-826-9533

Flux Coffee

Owner-roaster Arsalan Pourmand roasts single- origin beans inside this cheerful, slightly retro café, and constantly pushes the envelope with innovative drinks as well as robust cold brew.

211 Main St., Farmingdale

516-586-8979 https://www.fluxcoffee.com/

For Five Coffee Roasters

This stylish café has a few tables and a sleek counter for diving into espresso and pourovers from house-roasted beans. Bites include salmon gravlax tostadas and dolsot bibimbap, a Korean rice dish served in a stone bowl.

292 Plandome Rd., Manhasset

516-918-9488 http://forfivecoffee.com/

Gentle Brew Coffee Roasters

Owner Bryan Baquet’s roasted beans can be found across Long Island. Chemex, AeroPress, French press, cold brew and nitro brew, it’s all here. Other location: Boardwalk at 1 National Blvd.

151 E. Park Ave., Long Beach

516-605-2370 http://www.gentlebrewcoffee.com/

Georgio’s Coffee Roasters

Glass cold-drip contraptions create a lablike vibe inside this rustic spot, which is presided over by longtime roaster Georgio Testani and his wife, Lydia. Their house brews are the bar against which many others are measured.

1965 New Hwy., Farmingdale

516-238-2999 https://www.georgioscoffee.com/

Kookaburra Coffee Co.

This was one of the OG coffee cafés, opening near the Rockville Centre LIRR station in 2007. The bigger, brighter Malverne place is less than a year old; pastries, some baked in-house, are sold at both spots.

324-A Hempstead Ave., Malverne

516-218-2258 https://www.kookaburracoffeeny.com/

Mongo’s Coffee Roastery & Lounge

Owner and lifelong roaster Mitchel Margulis churns out robust blends, including one for nitro cold brew; pastries and savory lunch items come from area bakeries and artisans.

170 Michael Dr., Syosset

516-584-6464 https://www.shop.mongoscoffee.com/

Pipeline Coffee Co.

This cozy Wantagh café has a a prime location near the Wantagh LIRR station. Beans come from a Brooklyn roastery, and muffins are ornate. Other location: 318 Sunrise Hwy., Rockville Centre

1887 Wantagh Ave., Wantagh

516-785-5000 https://www.pipelinecoffeecompany.com/

Urban Brew Co.

Inside the subway-tiled interior is a mellow vibe and medium-bodied house roast (beans are roasted elsewhere), as well as cappuccino, chai tea lattes and syrups and nut milks galore.

196 2nd St., Mineola

516-280-4082 https://www.urbanbrewco.com/

Aldo’s Coffee Company

Owner Aldo Maiorana has been roasting his own beans since 1987. While you can find them in many restaurants, the café offers an atmospheric setting for sipping.

103-105 Front St., Greenport

631-477-6300 https://aldos.com/

Babylon Bean North

A bleached-wood aesthetic and a few tables set the stage for a busy trade in mostly takeout coffees (beans are roasted out back), plus smoothies, acai bowls and pastries from area bakers.

775 Deer Park Ave., North Babylon

631-314-4073

Coffee Booths

This no-frills yet charming spot serves inner central Suffolk with ornate specialty lattes (think s’mores or Junior Mints melted into espresso) as well as hot chocolate, breakfast biscuits and other treats.

226 Middle Country Rd., Selden

631-846-1966 https://coffeebooths.business.site/

Cyrus: Chai & Coffee Co.

This chic and comfy coffee and tea shop across the parking lot from the Bay Shore LIRR station brews beans from across the world—served as pourovers—as well as multiple kinds of cold brew.

1 Railroad Plaza, Bay Shore

631-206-1616

Hampton Coffee Company

There is a full lineup of espressos and their caffeinated cousins, and some of the pastries are baked on the premises. Three other locations: Water Mill, Southampton (home to the roastery) and Aquebogue

194 Mill Rd., Westhampton Beach

631-288-4480 http://hamptoncoffeecompany.com/

Local’s Cafe

The funky, slightly industrial café swarms with students, tourists and others thirsty for robust house roasts, smoky 22-hour cold brew and tea lattes, as well as pastries, pancakes and savory snacks.

106 E. Main St., Port Jefferson

631-509-0627 https://www.cafelocals.com/

North Fork Roasting Co.

This homey Southold spot owned by Jennilee Morris and Jess Dunne is an oasis on cold winter days and, when summer rolls around, pours an inky 16-hour cold brew.

55795 Main Rd., Southold

631-876-5450 https://www.noforoastingco.com/

Roast Coffee & Tea Trading Co.

This Main Street roastery-café has been caffeinating Patchogue since before its current food renaissance. Options include single-origins and a Brazilian-based cold brew.

41 E. Main St., Patchogue

631-627-3966 https://roast.coffee/

Sagtown Coffee

Cortados, Americanos and chai lattes share the bill with South-Fork-esque smoothies and “detoxing” charcoal drinks. Food comes in the form of pizza, acai bowls and more.

78 Main St., Sag Harbor

631-725-8696

Sergi Coffee & Roast

Owner Ibrahim Sergi is a former philosophy teacher turned roaster and relies on Colombian beans for his house roast and related espresso, cappuccino and the like.

780 Sunrise Hwy., West Babylon

631-526-9982 http://sergicoffee.com/

Soul Brew

There’s often a wait for both counter and tables inside this funky, full-service restaurant, where nitro cold brew is on tap and the beans are from Stone Street Coffee Co. in Brooklyn.

556 Route 25A, St. James

631-250-9238 https://soulbrew.coffee/

Southdown Coffee

This tiny café has a retro-chic feel and some of the most finely tuned coffee on the Island; owner Mark Boccard earns awards for his roasting juju. Other location: 49 Audrey Ave., Oyster Bay

210-B Wall St., Huntington

https://www.southdowncoffee.com/

Tend Coffee

Owned by culinary-school graduates and as cozy as it comes, Tend brews from organic beans roasted in the back on a Loring Smart Roast machine.

924 Montauk Hwy., Shirley

631-772-4707 https://tendcoffee.com/